College-Bound
It may be hard to believe, but soon your son or daughter will be packing up to head off to college for the first time. This will be a new stage in your relationship- one that demands new ways to connect, interact, and communicate.
When it comes to alcohol and other drugs, the "Just Say No" approach is probably too simplistic. By the time they reach older adolescence, many teens have been exposed to alcohol and drugs and may have seen classmates or friends experiment without negative consequences.
Scare tactics are unlikely to work and are more likely to elicit looks of boredom and disbelief. Instead, your soon-to-be college student needs thoughtful communication, education about the facts, reasoned discussion of expectations, and strategies for making wise choices.
Although teens sometimes seems to have one foot out the door, parents STILL MATTER and you can help your teen make decisions not to drink, smoke, or use other drugs. Nobody said parenting was easy. The more independent your teen gets the more you may feel yourself caught between wanting to hold on and getting ready to let go.
Even though it may feel like he or she is almost an adult, your college-bound teen still looks to you for guidance and support. Stay involved, because your influence and advice makes a difference!
Alcohol & Your Older Adolescents' Brain
Alcohol and other drug use during adolescence can have serious consequences on brain function and development. Adolescence is a time of intense development and transformation. These changes make the adolescent brain particularly vulnerable. At this stage, the brain processes information mostly in the limbic system with the amygdala, the instinctual or emotional part of the brain. Your teen is beginning to develop other regions that adults rely on like the prefrontal cortex and the mesolimbic system (responsible for executive functions that are critical for learning, decision-making, and judgment) but they're not there yet.
According to recent research on brain imaging, the brain isn't fully matured until after the age of 18 and sometimes not until 25. This is not to say your teen isn't capable of being rational at times. It just means
that he or she is more likely to do things based on gut reaction and emotion than reason. The introduction of alcohol and other drugs into the body can affect the brain's ability to fully develop the prefrontal cortex and mesolimbic brain regions. Heavy drinking is especially dangerous for teenagers whose brains are still developing, and alcohol-related damage incurred at a young age can have long-term effects. Alcohol can shut down the parts of the brain that control breathing and other involuntary actions in the body. Depending on the circumstances, even a couple of drinks have the potential to be lethal.
- Studies show that the earlier a person starts using an addictive substance (alcohol, tobacco, or drugs), the more likely
he or she is to develop an addiction.
- The National Institute of Health reports that 40% of those who start drinking before the age of 15 will meet the criteria for alcohol dependence at some point in their lives.
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Prevention Messages
Set Expectations — think through your own expectations about your teen's behavior
in college. Be clear about your stance on alcohol and other drugs, including any consequences you will impose if your rules are broken. Try to avoid posing restrictions like
putting off paying their tuition. They are asking for help, and removing access to education isn't going to get them the help they need. Be sure your expectations are reasonable, well thought-out, and convey trust and support. Communicate these expectations to your teen well before
he or she leaves for college.
Discuss some of the misperceptions your teen may have about college
drinking — Make sure
your child knows that MOST college students DON'T drink and that there are plenty of other ways to get involved on campus without copious amount of alcohol.
Party Hosting — While you may think you're protecting your son or daughter by
allowing drinking at home or
offering to host parties where alcohol is being served, you're not. Not only are you condoning illegal behavior and sending a mixed message to your child, but in several states you can be held accountable for serving alcohol to a minor. There are two ways you can be held liable for hosting underage drinking parties - criminal and civil liability. Criminal liability involves a statutory prohibition enforced by the State through criminal proceedings that can lead to sanctions such as fines or imprisonment. Civil liability involves an action by a private party seeking monetary damages for injuries that result from permitting underage drinking on the host's premises.
Be open for discussion but don't discuss your past. While it may be tempting to
discuss your own history of alcohol and drug use during college, it is not advisable. Your teen is still an adolescent, and you do not want to give mixed messages about drinking and drug use by telling stories from your past. Your teen's life is the focus now.
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Choosing A College — Getting the 411 On The Alcohol &
Other Drug Scene
As a parent concerned about alcohol and other drugs, you will want to do some behind-the-scenes investigative work on the alcohol and drug culture to help steer your teen in the right direction.
It can be a little daunting to get the full alcohol and drug picture of a campus. Some of the issues you might want to explore include:
- Accessibility of alcohol and other drugs on campus.
- The school's alcohol and other drug policy. To look up the alcohol policy at a particular college, you can visit www.collegedrinkingprevention.gov and search by state and college.
- The school's stance on parental notification. Federal law recognizes that parents have the right to be notified if their child is involved in illegal behavior such as underage drinking, public drunkenness, drug use, or criminal activity. Colleges have varying policies on what notification means.
- Number of liquor law violations and alcohol-related injuries and deaths.
- Topics covered in freshmen orientation or special required classes on wellness including alcohol and other drugs.
- Options for non-alcoholic activities.
- The role or influence of fraternities and sororities on campus.
- Availability of substance-free housing.
- If your teen is in recovery you way want to check out colleges with additional supportive programming/housing for students in recovery. Check out the National Association of Recovery Schools at www.recovery.org for a list of colleges with these active recovery programs.
- Support services offered through student health services or community organizations for students with alcohol or drug issues and access to on-campus AA or NA meetings.
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