You are not alone. According to a January, 2000 study that was released by the National Institute on Alcoholism and Alcohol Abuse (NIAAA), one out of every four people come from a family where one or both parents abuse alcohol or other drugs.
Your attitudes and behaviors, and the way you see yourself, have all been shaped by the experiences you had growing up. While it may seem like ancient history, understanding your past can help you decide where you want to go and how you’re going to get there.
From your experiences growing up, you probably know first-hand that alcohol and other drugs sometimes made your parent:
say or do things that seemed bizarre or embarrassing
act unpredictably or illogically
break promises
be argumentative and even violent
Family life may have been chaotic and confusing. It may still feel that way.
Although no two people are affected by a parent’s substance abuse in exactly the same way, many children of substance abusers feel:
guilt, shame and anger about a loved one’s alcohol or drug use
overly responsible for their family’s well-being
uncomfortable sharing feelings and connecting with others
concerned about their own drinking or drug use
isolated, anxious or depressed
These feelings can persist long past childhood. They can stick with you after you’ve moved away from home, or just started living more independently.
Chances are you developed a lot of survival skills as a child. You can use these skills, along with the new ones you develop, to deal with your feelings, create balance in your life and pursue goals that fulfill your needs.
Just remember: You didn’t cause your parent’s problem. You couldn’t control it or cure it then. And you can’t now.
